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ian has turned me in for sexual harassment. i think if he keeps this up i don't want to be his friend. i'm scared of mrs. P...she's taller than i am. got lots of good pics etc this week/end so i'll be posting them when i don't feel like not doing it. weeeeee //corey |
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ian and my relationship is quickly going bad. today i ran up towards him screaming with happiness, and he took a martial arts stance. so i stopped, and slapped him and his fat friend (i hate his fat friend). then he said in a high pitched voice that if i touched him again he would turn me in for freshman hazing. i tried to tell him that i was a freshman too (IT WAS A LIE) and he said he didnt give a shit. that hurt, it really did. john kilby, i mean ross kerr, wrote an article about something that went down (or, i should say up) today in the gym. i was there, i saw it. clickere and joyce really did get kicked in the face by a horse. i gots the proof. Crazyskater560 [9:17 PM]: joyce really did kicked by a horse SEE! when i showed my mom the picture of joyce getting kicked in the head by a horse (which really happened) she said "GOD DAMMIT COREY YOU AINT NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN IN THIS-HERE WORLD IF YOU CAINT DRAW A HORSE BETTER THAN THAT!" and beat me with a cane. //corey |
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just a quick question, have any of you ever been sent to the cafeteria for being bad? i was. it happened yesterday. it was in mrs. dalrymple's class (yeah, that's her name) 3rd period...geometry...at any rate, i was being a bit of a smart-ass and when a girl asked if she could have a screwdriver i said "no - no alcohol!"...and mrs dalrymple snapped and said "COREY! GET OUT! NOW! JUST TAKE YOUR BOOKS AND GO!"...now, where i'm from, that means "Go to in-school suspension." being a smartass, though, I said "Go where?"...and she said, "THE CAFETERIA." i think that maybe this is a testament to the overcrowding of schools. i also had drawn a picture, the day before, of joyce (the screwdriver girl) getting kicked in the face by a horse. which i think really happened, but which she denies. //corey |
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i've been trying my best to make friends at my new school, Wilkes Central High School. there is one guy who is just so cool i want to be friends with him, but for some reason he always gets the wrong message. he is ian mcinnis and he is a COOL GUY! one day he looked all sad so i gave him a big ole hug and he got real mad. and that rhymes. like wind chimes. so anyway, i gave him another hug one day, and he got really real mad. then one day he was standing outside and someone said 'i bet you won't tackle him!'. i said, 'whatever it makes to make him think that i'm "cool".' so i did it. i took him down to the ground. he acted like he was really mad at me again, hehe he's so funny. he also called me a "BEATER" whatever that is. i didnt notice that mrs. P (the shortening for mrs. presnell, our vice principle who some people think is manly [not me, if you're reading this, mrs P. no sirree, not me.]) was standing right there. she said, "No corey! you could have hurt him. Don't do it again." well I did it again, today. wednesday may first, if you're writing down notes in your little black notebook. today I kinda clung to his legs because he was harder to take down for some reason. maybe he's been taking dance lessons and his balance got better. well, i'll get some pics of me and my friend ian up on here, soon. //corey |
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look at my mspaintcontest, now.
//corey |
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dialogue between me, "the class," "somebody," and mr. baker today in physical science (i'm a sophmore, by the way): mr. baker: (going on about being corrected) I don't mind being corrected, it's just that people correct me sometimes. like my wife's being mean to me, at home. me: what do you do then, mr. baker? baker: i put her in her place! somebody: where's that? baker: wherever she wants it! //corey |
today i went into food lion to get stuff with my mom. i dont normally do this (i'm not a "momma's boy," i swear. quit smiling like that) and so i was walking along the aisle (i think that's how you spell it, if i was a "momma's boy," i'd just ask mommy, but i'm not a "momma's boy." believe me now? huh? yeah i thought so, bitch...dont make me get my mom after you...err...oops)..anyway i was walking along the aisle, and all of a sudden i saw some kind of awful fuzzy clown!! pictured below: actually, upon closer inspection, it was the UGLIEST human being i'd ever seen. some old woman. but it was HORRIBLE. even that detailed diagram cannot accurately convey the horror. the worst part was that she was with some friendly-looking elderly man. poor guy. he was probably so senile he didnt know what he woke up to every morning. or maybe life had turned into a horror-movie for him. maybe he had alzheimers, and every day he forgets who he is and all. like in Memento. and when he wakes up the first thing he sees/hears/smells (if he was lucky he'd be a vegetable) is that wifeTHING. i was about to pull out my glock .44 and put an end to his miserable life, but i don't have a glock .44. durn. now that i think of it, my dad and i had seen that woman before, also at food lion. maybe she's some type of monster that lurks in the catacombs and only comes out after 5 o clock in the afternoon. that time before, my dad was like "holy shit" (yeah, i have a deadbeat dad, i know they aren't supposed to say stuff like that).."holy shit" he said. "that's grounds for divorce." we discussed how a woman could POSSIBLY look like that and get married to a normal, sane man. we concluded that either: he was mentally retarded at the time of marriage, or she suddenly changed one night, possibly due to an alien abduction and mistake in replacing the body. oh well, i guess thats about all...my momma wants me to set the table //corey |
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well, i've got some entries for the paint contest but i still need more. so send them to me or i shall eat your firstborn. *totally heterosexual anecdote* today, i was home from school because i was sick. i slept until 1 and had a snack of some crackers and cheese, but i felt that i needed more. so i ate an apple. my appetite was still not sated. i had some chocolate whipped cream, a few more crackers, and an orange. but i needed...something more. that's when i saw it, shining golden like a heavenly harp. the banana. it had such a healthy glow that it almost hurt to eat it. hurt, yet...felt so good. and then i went to spend time staring at the computer. but an hour later, i felt it again, that rumbling in my stomach that signifies hunger. but not just any hunger...i needed another banana! i searched in the fruit basket. lemons, pears, and apples were tossed aside. the lime i threw over my shoulder broke a window. and then i saw it, at the very bottom of the fruit basket, waiting to be discovered: the biggest banana i'd ever seen. i later measured it, it was 11 inches. mostly brown, much straighter than the average banana, and hard as a rock. i was going to take a picture, but i couldnt find any batteries for my camera. i decided it was actually pretty gross, and i didnt like bananas as much as it seems in this anecdote, and i'm not gay so i have no fixation with long yellow-and-brown curved objects. i ended up throwing the banana out into the woods as far as i could, ending up with a satisfying "PLUNK." maybe a bird or raccoon or escaped prisoner will eat it and end up having genetically modified children 30 feet tall. or maybe i should go back to bed. //corey |
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i'm holding a paint contest. that's right. send me anything amazing, funny, stupid, hilarious, insulting, injurious, hyperextenuating, etc. that you've drawn in paint, and maybe you could even win something. once i get a lot of entries i'll allow you to vote. tell your friends, kids! and not just the dumb ones so that they won't have any chance of winning...here's the contest page. check it out
//corey |
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an old man has been emailing me lately and telling me that i should update the site that he will kill me and eat my brains that he will cut the pockets off of my pants that he will do bad stuff to me if i don't update the site because when young bucks start sites and they dont update them bad stuff happens to them from old men and that he was an old man and i was a young buck and hed do bad stuff to me if i didnt update my site not really. i just wanted to stop using punctuation and rational sentences. FeistyPrincess15 [8:35 PM]: Oh, before I forget, Purvis says "hello" FeistyPrincess15 [8:35 PM]: Hehehehe Conwict [8:35 PM]: really? FeistyPrincess15 [8:35 PM]: Yeah Conwict [8:35 PM]: weird FeistyPrincess15 [8:35 PM]: I told her you said "hello" and so she said it back...even though you didn't Conwict [8:35 PM]: Thanks a bunch //corey |
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cousin darrell and i went on a journey to wal-mart yesterday. i got tons of pictures, and towards the end they got into a fight. also some weird old guy with a mullet was talking to himself in a truck in front of my mom's car, on the road...
//corey |
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my hair is now brownish red as originally intended. i had it redone, but it was briefly a REALLY pink peach-blonde color as it was bleached to get the pink out. i felt like a gay eminem. at any rate, something new: i'm going to add a new section where I take pictures of random asses and you vote on whether they're male or female and rate them. or something like that. i have to think about it, and I don't like thinking //corey |
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StarlitMageX: There is a place in the corner so warm and so sweet - its makes Bob feel lonely while hes beating his meat StarlitMageX: fa la la la Conwict: lol StarlitMageX: don't laugh at me foo StarlitMageX: i bust a cap in yo ass. StarlitMageX: HA HA walmart hindubob1: why are you at central? Conwict: for fun and profit hindubob1: fun and profit?....fun, yeah....profit? Conwict: I'm whoring myself out new john harassment, under Funny. //corey |
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my hair is pink. well, actually it's reddish-pink. i was talking to cousin darrell on the phone and forgot to set the timer. it was supposed to be cherryredbrown or something, but it was in for about 50 minutes. and now my hair is PINK, dammit. i'll send a pic later. it actually doesn't look as bad as you'd think. pink. heh. //corey |
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andrew and i got into a fight, and steve got it on camera...check it out
//corey |
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new stuff added, like dollporn: the movie. run while you still have a chance. me and my friend daron walked into goody's (which is ironically right next to the goodwill) and had a dialogue somewhat like this: corey: we think you is goin outta BIZNASS soon daron: BIZNASS (nod, nod) corey: they be a goodwill next do' daron: (nod, nod) corey: (looking at daron) yo home-slice, ya fly is unzipped daron: yo, thanks, G corey: wesside daron: let's ride (we start to leave) daron: thought we'd tell ya, yo. corey: jes' helpin' a brotha out (we, the idiots, exit..everyone within hearing distance kind of had their mouth half-open at our idiocy) well, i don't know why I said brotha, it was a young white female we were talking to. no, try as hard as you can, but you still won't be as cool as us. sorry. //corey |
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videos from lunch today were added
//corey |
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added dollporn and some videos and some pics. REBEL AGAINST THE CORRUPT DRINK MACHINES.
//corey |
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nismo: All need now is your address and then i can stalk you nismo: :-D Conwict: :-O nismo: None of that you're not gay :-P Conwict: There are some gay guys at my school but they arent your type nismo: I'm taken.....and i'm not coming over to pull nismo: I'm coming over to annoy purvis Conwict: rofl nismo: See shes so hated....even people from around the world wanna have a go at her nismo: I'll run her over on a rolly chair Conwict: haha nismo: Im really really starting to hate her nismo: I have no idea who she is nismo: But i hate the bitch Conwict: Fuel the fire Conwict: feed it spare cheap aftermarket computer parts nismo: hehe nismo: BURN BABY BURN! nismo: lol nismo: Lets go on rolly chair rage nismo: I know......cowboys of rolly chairs that was my friend james. he's cool. he's from england. his site is here: http://www.incuk.net...he's the one who bought me conwict.com. WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. watch out, purvis. //corey |
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start using conwict.com instead of short.bus.tripod.com...later the site'll be moving completely. right now, conwict.com just forwards you to short.bus.tripod.com
//corey |
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I added a lot of pictures and some videos i took. did you know you can buy tampons on ebay? search for "absorb"
//corey |
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I have mrs purvis for computer app this year. so far, it's been as fun (italics for sarcasm) this year as it was having her last year for keyboarding. of course, she "retired" last year--the entire reason that I took computer app this year: I figured that I wouldn't be stuck with her again. after all, normal people who retire sit at home. they knit. they watch soap operas. they bake cakes. they DON'T come back to school to teach another year! I underestimated mrs purvis, though. she is far from normal. she is SUBnormal. as you may have guessed, the unthinkable happened. she came back to teach another year... and I got her. yeeeehaw! today at intramurals, she looked like mic jagger! I SWEAR! her hair kept blowing, and...wait....mic jagger wouldn't wear an ugly flower print dress. today in class, she snapped! her voice got all gravely and I thought she was possessed by satan! she had already sent me out of class once because daniel wood and I were laughing uncontrollably (we do that every day, though, nothing new.) I came back in to print my project (pronounced "prah-jeck" by purvis) and some realplayer shit popped up on the computer to my left. I closed it, and she started bitching at me for not staying at my computer...she probably would have blamed me if I hadn't closed it. that's beside the point, though. (or as she says, "besides the point") it popped up again, and she glared at me. I closed it. it popped up again, and she said "GO OUT OF THE ROOM NOW!" and that's when her voice got all gravelly. it was scary! she had a "talk" with me after class, and said how "one half of the class, at least, was tired of me laughing and making a smart comment every time after someone acted dumb, like daniel [wood]." she said I would get OSS (out of school suspension) if I kept it up, like "that little incident today." is it just me, or is she about 30 years over retirement age? none of it made any sense. I doubt she was talking about daniel going out of control in his rolly-chair and crashing--I didn't laugh or make a smart comment, I just put my head down and made muffled "snork" noises--so she must have, in her alzheimered, corrupted brain, somehow related that stupid realplayer popup on the computer to the left of me to me laughing and making smart comments. now, I admit that I may have a slight tendency to laugh and make smart comments--but what business of hers is it? how could I get OSS (normally reserved for drug users, smokers, people who get into fights a lot, etc) for making smart comments and laughing?! especially when I wasn't even doing it. after typing all that, it seems that my logic is only a few points above mrs purvis's for comprehensibility. and I don't even have that cool "mic jagger-like" hair like she does. or maybe it's a dead fox on her head. I never really decided. I don't have a gravelly satan-voice to use when I'm mad either. damn. for lunch, I had some kind of exploding pineapples! I poked my fork into one and it exploded all over my shirt! then I put one into my mouth, chewed twice (I like to live dangerously--no chewing 10 times for me!), and swallowed. about halfway down my throat it exploded. another exploded on my plate, without me even touching it. intramurals, even without the purvis-jagger resemblance, was pretty cool. I got a pepsi and poured some of it off the bleachers...it exploded (for lack of a better word) before it hit the ground. then these little brown things came out of the trees and started attacking everyone on the bleachers. only me and a few friends noticed. probably 30 people, total. this girl with no bra on came and sat with us, started talking about no matter where she sat, the asst. principal stared at her. she said she was scattering paper, and asked us if we'd seen a bunch of little pieces of paper floating around. she sort of shifted her eyes around nervously, mentioned something about "can't get caught again," and shuffled off. in biology, which is actually before intramurals, my group earned 17 extra credit points on our last test. now, I'm not normally one to brag about my grades (heh heh, can you guess why? I don't have many to brag about), but that 108 is going to help my grade out quite a bit. thank you for reading my ramble. geez, they keep getting longer and longer. //corey |
dis is my back!
